well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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