just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
