do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
