i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
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Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
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She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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