honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
