The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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