Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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