Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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