Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
