a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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