i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
