I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
