how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
