Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
