so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just cut my nipple shaving
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
