"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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