I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
