He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
