the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
