WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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