just tell him i said nine months
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize