the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You took a bar mat shot.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
