Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize