So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
