Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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