i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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