What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize