Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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