So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
