i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
