He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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