We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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