i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
