There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
