just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize