we have officially lost it.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
