bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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