Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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