I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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