Sorry, I don't speak sober.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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