his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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