We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
