It's like God shit irony all over that family
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
