I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
