you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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