my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
