were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
