Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
