I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
