Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
