Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
