Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
