i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The adults are the big ones right?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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