i don't like sucking hair
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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