this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
