i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
