he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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