Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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