You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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