She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
