you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
