I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life