fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
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my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?