dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
