i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.